Sunday, June 22, 2014

Forgiveness First

When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

Luke 5:20

In this passage a sick and paralyzed man was brought to Jesus with the help of his four friends.  When they finally got their friend in front of Jesus scripture says Jesus saw their faith.  Interesting to me that Jesus can "see" faith. 
His first words were directed towards the sick man and he told him that his sins are forgiven.  After this Jesus knew that some people in the room were wondering why he said that and would be offended that he claimed to have the authority to forgive other peoples sins. 
Jesus then asked this question: which is easier to say-  your sins are forgiven or get up and walk?  As I think about these two questions I really cannot imagine having the authority or boldness to say either one.  I cannot heal someone or forgive their sins.  If I were to tell someone that is sick to get up out of the hospital bed and go home I would have security guards escort me out.
As I review this scripture I see that Jesus decided to say the first statement to the sick man and the second statement after. He asked which was easier yet for his purpose he chose to tell the sick man that his sins are forgiven.  He then explains that he did it in this order so that we may know he has the authority to forgive sins.
Perhaps he chose this first because forgiveness from Jesus is more important than the healing.  Forgiveness and faith in who Jesus is should always be what we seek first.  Both forgiveness of sins and healing are from the Lord yet from this scripture he clearly shows the heart and where it is at with Jesus comes first.
Today I think about these four friends and how awesome they are to have brought their sick friend to Jesus.  I think its awesome that Jesus saw their faith and chose to forgive sins first and then healed after.  My hope for today is that Jesus "sees" me bring my daughter to him, forgives her sins and heals her.  Oh the boldness to ask Him this. 


Friday, November 1, 2013

Strength for today


"The Lord will Fight for you, just be still"

Exodus 14:14

 

Questions that attempt to shatter my faith:
  • Should I stop asking for the un-askable and come to Jesus for things that are more realistic and attainable?  
  • If Sunday's diagnosis declares her to have epilepsy than why do I seemingly waste my time trying to change it?

For years I have taken on the battle of Sundays seizures. For years, even before she was born, I have prayed for healing for my little girl.  Sunday's diagnosis is Aicardi Syndrome and she was diagnosed at two days old.  One of the markers for this syndrome is seizures of the worst kind—they are intractable.  Intractable means that they always return and medication does not help. All Aicardi girls have seizures.  
I do not know for sure why I ask God to do something that has seemingly never happened before.  Sundays condition makes her nearly required to have seizures yet I come to God several times a day and ask him to take them away.  I feel childish and na├»ve when I realize I am asking for the impossible yet I am entrenched with scripture encouraging me otherwise. 
I am reminded of Matthew 19:26 when Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” I am reminded of Luke 11:9 "And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you" and I wait with Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Am I asking for God to move a mountain I cannot move? Am I asking for a miracle?   My answer to that is yes.  Yes, I am asking for a miracle with His word as my Hope and strength.   I am asking with his instruction from Matthew 17:20 for He replied, “...Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”





Monday, October 28, 2013

Diving In to a New Post

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3,4

 
I finally posted an update after over a year.  I pretty much just gave a clinical update on how Sunday still struggles with epilepsy. When I first began a blog I was only trying out some sort of experiment for some way to stop seizures of the startle type. I believe I did find a prevention method and I am certain God showed me the way.  I do have others to post about too.

My prayer was answered yet Sunday is not seizure free. I feel like God gave me sustenance to endure yet he had not completely removed my struggle.  I begged God to help me and I believe he had— yet my struggle remains. God has strengthened me to endure during the storm and perhaps that was his purpose that needed to be accomplished first.  Romans 5, verses 3 and 4,  begin with our glory in struggles and ends with hope.  A synonym to glory is also beauty and wonder.  I certainly find Sunday is such a wonder and so beautiful that I like to think of Romans 5:3 to be a wonder and beauty and praise as he enables the endurance that leads to hope.
 
This hope is where I find my current state.  I hope for things to come yet in the meantime, I have learned to persevere as God shapes my character and now hers too.

I have a picture here of Sunday as I noticed all the injury and protective side I posted last time.  Those images are sad and seemingly unhopeful yet they illustrate a life of endurance and suffering.  On a lighter note,  Sunday is happy and energetic and loves to run.  In fact, she has been jumping higher than ever on the trampoline.  She has a busy, fun filled life yet she struggles daily with a bend for God's provision and healing. 

Sunday, October 27, 2013

An Overdue Update



Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

I have not updated in awhile (521 days) because  I did not know what to say, really.  The description of my blog still says Sunday is seven but she is now eight years old and even more beautiful and lovely!  Although Sunday still has seizures as a result of hearing sounds I know earplugs when used correctly, can reduce countless episodes.  I do not give her earplugs anymore yet I am also thinking that all the months we used the earplugs has somewhat conditioned Sunday to adapt to sounds and she can anticipate and prepare her mind for a seizure coming or trying to take ahold.  In fact, I have seen her not have countless seizures as a result of giving her a warning or intensely telling her that she is simply reacting to a sound.  It works but not all the time.


 
I believe God has allowed me to understand this physiological function and He gives me hope.  I also know that My God is bigger than epilepsy and he has allowed this complicated medical concern to cause me to turn to Him and His Word and increase our faith, including Sunday's. The more I seek him, the less dramatic, scary and seemingly overwhelming seizures become.  Sometimes there are seizure free weeks and other times He simply calms both me and Sunday during the whole thing. I have more posts to come about this.

6 months ago she began to have seizures for no known reason.  For the first time in 8 years I took her to the emergency room for her seizures, we are usually there for injuries.  I had always felt like the emergency room was where they could stop the seizures.  This time, in April of 2013, her seizures were not stopping. I thanked God for her and pleaded to let her stay with us longer.  They administered an emergency medication and it did not work.  They gave her another medication and it did not work.  After a couple hours the emergency room team determined that her seizures were beyond their ability to control and they needed to send her somewhere else. 

I had twenty minutes to decide if I was going to go with her in the helicopter and be air flighted to UCSF Medical Center.  With my husband by my side encouraging me he was going to care for our other three kids I decided to go and could not imagine ever refusing.  We flew to UCSF in about 45 minutes, took an ambulance when we landed and were admitted.  We stayed three days.  Sunday continued to have seizures and they changed her medications around. 

The seizures slowed down, a new medication was added and one other was weaned. I was told her new medication is known to increase severe drop seizures. After a couple days being home, Sunday was reading a book that was on the coffee table.  A drop seizure hit and her body fell suddenly, hitting her face on the coffee table resulting in blood and crying.  I assessed her face and she had hit so hard her teeth were rearranged and she could not close her mouth.  The impact had dislodged her teeth and I had to take her to the dentist to have them removed.

After this incident I say I put Sunday on the highest safety alert possible.  I never allowed her to run freely in any environment that has a hard surface.  I got rid of her high chair as it had a hard tray that  resulted in at least 50 or more injuries, I let her sleep in an enclosed bed and I hold her hand everywhere.  

Her face shield came in and when she put it on it was like a dream come true! For once in years Sunday could walk about any area without any fear of injury to her face.  She had a helmet  before but it could not protect her face.  The first time she had a seizure while wearing this helmet her face hit the floor so very hard I actually thought she cracked and broke the shield. When the seizure was over I checked the shield and it had not broken but it did protect her face from injury. However, she did have a stiff neck for a couple days.

That is a minimal update on how Sunday has been doing  Due to a high alert safety protocol Sunday has had zero seizure injuries in months and I have so much to share about how God is still answering our call out to him.